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Oh, and yes, it IS from a guy's point of view. So this is the end, this is goodbye We’ve had our share of tiring fights There’ll be no more love-making in our bed On the beach, we’ll share no more walks I’ll try to remember the way you made me feel I’ll treasure all of the special times we shared And I’ll never again buy roses; they were meant just for you I’ll lie, and tell my friends I’m doing fine Most of all, I’ll miss you - I already do I’m sitting here writing you this letter “I’ll love you till the day I die I stare at the paper, not knowing what else to say 2007-04-23 Askoga: I really like this poem, for the most part. Since you said not to mention the forced-soundin This was very touching, and reminded me strongly of a time not too long past for me. I especially like the fourth couplet, it made me smile! 2007-04-23 Jenna Rose: Thanks :) Yes, that second line in the third couplet has been taunting me all day... I finally just gave up on it. I really want it to still say the same thing basically, but I can't find another, shorter way to write it >< 2007-04-23 Askoga: Hee, I did that with something I wanted to put in my latest poem, but ended up just taking out the entire stanza. Honestly, I don't have any helpful suggestions for shortening it. 2007-04-23 Jenna Rose: I'm thinking maybe adding a third line to each, to even them out a little... Too tired to work on it right now :3 2007-05-21 Jenna Rose: *sigh... grumble* One thing I hate about re-naming pages. The ratings go back to 0 -.- 2007-05-21 bloody kisses: Aww, s'ok. I hate that too, because normally it's the things that people actually HAVE rated =P But I really enjoyed this one, though some of the lines seemed a bit...off? For instance: I dunno, for somereason that one sounded a bit off to me. But I did enjoy this one ^.^ 2007-05-21 Jenna Rose: Hmm. o.o I dunno, it sounds fine to me. They contain a bit of reversed syntax.[Jenna Rose]: 150.Poetry.Lea
Rating: 0.95 Uploaded by: Created: 2007-05-21 19:57:08Previous:Keywords: love heartache breakup hurt sadStyle:poetryLicense:Free for reading
Ratings would be lovely and much appreciated. :)
Leaving
I’m leaving, we’re done, it’s over...
We both have no more tears left to cry
Broken dishes, broken feelings...
And too many long, sleepless nights
No more lying next to you, wondering...
What thoughts run through your head
No more picnic lunches...
Nor our wide-awake 2 a.m. talks
And all the sweet memories we’ve made...
Sometimes, your love for me seemed too good to be real
Like that night I poured my heart out to you...
And you listened, but more importantly, you cared
The look on your face when I brought them to you, no...
Daisies, carnations... for others, those will do
Faking smiles, hiding heartache...
While silently wishing that you were still mine
Lying on my motel bed....
It’s only been an hour or two
My last goodbye...
And hoping that it makes things better
I love you so much...
Darling, please, please don’t cry”
So I sigh, and finish with...
“But leaving was the only way”
'And I’ll never again buy roses; they were meant just for you
The look on your face when I brought them to you, no...
Daisies, carnations... for others, those will do'